Sin & Death in Mormon Country: A Latter-day Tragedy
April, 1986
By Mark A. Taylor*
On March 2, 1982, Kip Eliason, age 16, distraught and filled with self-hate over his inability to stop masturbating, committed suicide. Before asphyxiating himself, Kip left his father a note:
"Dear Dad,
I love you more than what words can say. If it were possible, I would stay alive for only you, for I really only have you. But it isn't possible. I must first love myself, and I do not. The strange feeling of darkness and self-hate overpowers all my defenses. I must unfortunately yield to it. This turbulent feeling is only for a few to truly understand. I feel that you do not comprehend the immense feeling of self-hatred I have. This is the only way I feel that I can relieve myself of these feelings now. Carry on with your life and be happy. I love you more than words can say.
—Your son, Kip"Kip Eliason's five-year struggle to overcome masturbation started at age 11 when his grandmother persuaded him to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), whose members are better known as Mormons. Kip was an intelligent and sensitive young man, perhaps too sensitive. The death of his mother when the boy was six had profoundly affected him. At times he was quiet and reflective, spending hours alone in his room, and yet he was outgoing by nature. He was a born leader. His classmates and teachers admired him for his friendly way and all-American good looks. Kip was truthful and possessed a farm-community naiveté.
He loved the Mormon Church — which has 5.5 million members worldwide — and was devoted to its teachings. His father, Eugene Eliason, a non-Mormon, believes that in some ways the church may have played a substitute-mother role for the boy. (For clarity, Eugene Eliason will be referred to as Eliason throughout this report; his son will always be called Kip.)
Kip was not the kind of youngster you'd think would commit suicide, but when his church told him that he'd find guilt, depression and self-hate if he masturbated, he believed so. When it said he'd go to hell if he didn't stop, he believed that too. And when he was told that masturbation was a "building block of suicide," he took the church at its word.
Kip's death rocked the predominantly Mormon agribusiness community of Boise, Idaho, where he was a high-school senior at Capital High School. Of course, there were the stories that occasionally filtered through the congregation about young people who, like Kip, committed suicide because they couldn't live up to the church's stringent anti-sex doctrines. But they were just stories and, if they were true, they didn't happen in Boise; they happened some 300 miles southeast, in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Salt Lake City is the headquarters of the Mormon Church and the power base from which it wields enormous financial and political influence. (Mormons comprise 70% of Utah's population.) There Kip's death was indeed viewed by church leaders as an unfortunate tragedy, but it wasn't the isolated incident the church would like its brethren in Boise to believe.
Today Kip's story is one told more and more often in Mormon wardhouses. Behind the scenes the church and community mental-health agencies in Utah are quietly fighting a sex-related mental-health epidemic among Mormon men and women. Mental-health fallout in Utah communities has been substantial and pervasive. Utah has the highest birthrate and the largest families in America. More than 50% of all births are by teenage mothers, with seven of ten out of wedlock, and it has one of the highest divorce rates in the nation.
While the number of teen suicides in America has tripled in the past decade, Utah has consistently been 3.5% higher than the national average. According to that state's Department of Vital Statistics, it ranks 13th nationally in child abuse, but comparing Utah statistics with those compiled by the National Association for the Protection of Children, the incidence of reported child abuse is six times higher in Utah. The incidence of sexual abuse — including rape, incest and intercourse — is 33% more than the national average, and the child-murder rate is five times higher.
Besides having a powerhouse football team, the Mormons' very own Brigham Young University — alma mater of Donny and Marie Osmond and 1984 Miss America Sharlene Wells — has one of the highest coed-pregnancy rates in America.
Kip and countless others have fallen victim to guilt, self-hate, mental illness and suicide created by their inability to control healthy sexual desires as mandated by the Mormon Church. Making things worse is its amateurish attempts to provide counseling that utilizes powerful behavioral-modification techniques with inadequate training.
Mormon anti-sex indoctrination start early. Children are taught that sex is dirty and disgusting, that it is the tool of Satan. The church uses guilt and the threat of eternal damnation to drive its message home. When a child reaches adolescence, the conflict between what he or she has learned and sexual feelings experienced can create devastating consequences.
After Kip's death, Eliason moved to Salt Lake City. He was angry and hurt. There he met parents who had stories like his — youngsters ending up in mental institutions or worse, committing suicide. Eliason worked through his grief and anger by talking to anyone willing to listen and by going to the library and researching teen suicide and the Mormons. In October 1983 he filed a $26-million wrongful-death suit against the Mormon Church, alleging that the Latter-day Saints went a step further than just providing his son with spiritual, moral and personal guidance when they subjected him to sex- and masturbation-counseling. The suit accuses the church of negligence for providing counseling that fell outside the realm of religious teaching and for not requiring or providing training for its counselors.
The suit charges that this counseling, combined with the church's harsh anti-masturbation indoctrination, were the direct cause of Kip's depression, self-hate, suicide attempts and eventual death.
Moreover, it alleges that the church knew or should have known that its attempts to indoctrinate and provide sexual counseling for Kip were having a severe and adverse reaction on him; yet they continued. The suit charges that this failure to exercise a proper standard of care was negligent.
The suit also contends that the Mormon Church subjected Kip to what amounted to an intentional attempt at mind control by using brainwashing techniques under the guise of spiritual teaching.
A pretrial affidavit was filed by noted sex-behavior expert Dr. Jack Annon, clinical and forensic psychologist, author of three books on sexual dysfunctions and disorders, and a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and of other professional societies. Annon stated: "Based upon my review of even a limited amount of literature and on documentation specifically pertaining to Kip Eliason, it appears clear that the LDS Church promoted and engaged in behavior-modification counseling in the specific areas of masturbation."
In letters to his father and in his remarkably well-written journal, Kip chronicled his fight to overcome masturbation. He wrote: "I know immorality is a very serious sin. I really want to repent and be free of this terrible and degrading burden of masturbation. I am willing to do anything I have to do, even excommunication, to be able to repent and be free of this sin. I would rather go to hell and suffer there than be unworthy."
Eliason recalls that before Kip became involved with the church, he was happy as a lark: "He got along with everyone just beautifully. We water-skied, boated, fished, snow-skied and did everything together. We laughed and had a ball."
Mormons are taught that only by achieving perfection on earth will they reach "godhood" and find eternal life in heaven. To reach "perfection" one must first be found "worthy." Bestowing "worthiness" is a shared responsibility between God and the church's elders.
For most Latter-day Saints, including Kip, the constant battle to become "worthy" is a hopeless struggle. Becoming "worthy" and ultimately reaching "perfection" means living up to the church's 4,300 commandments — including those condemning natural sex acts.
To his classmates at Capital High School and fellow Mormons, Kip seemed jovial, outgoing and, well, almost perfect. In many ways he was a model child — highly motivated, voted most inspirational member of the track team, a straight-A student, a seemingly well-adjusted individual immersed in his church beliefs and in striving for perfection. Mormon elders often used him as an example of what a fine young man should be, someone others could aspire to be like. Kip often talked about going to college and earning a degree in a humanitarian field.
Kip's aunt Janice Ballatore, an active Mormon with whom he lived for two summers, remembers him telling her of his masturbation problem one day while running errands: "I told him not to worry, that all young boys probably do it. He seemed very relieved. Kip was a smart, good-looking kid who took the church perfection business seriously. He really thought he could be perfect. He said, 'The church told me I could if I really wanted to try.'"
Mormon Sex "Education"In a devotional speech to young adults in 1974 the late Spencer W. Kimball, Prophet, Seer and Revelator of the Mormon Church, admonished teenagers: "Immorality [petting, premarital sex, adultery, homosexuality and masturbation] brings generally a guilt deep and lasting. These guilt complexes are the stuff of which mental breakdowns come; they are the building blocks of suicide, the fabric of distorted personalities and the wounds that scar and decapitate individuals or families."
In
Love vs. Lust, a pamphlet written for teenagers, Kimball told young men that premarital sex is a serious sin, one just short of murder. He wrote: "The young man is untrue to his manhood who promises popularity, good times, security, fun and even love, when all he can give is passion and its diabolical fruits — guilt complexes, disgust, hatred, abhorrence, eventual loathing, and possible pregnancy without legitimacy and honor."
Insisting on anonymity, a young, attractive woman sums up 20 years of Mormon sex indoctrinations: "They tell you it's filthy and ugly. They say you'll be shamed and damned. By the time you're 21, you've got more sexual hang-ups than you can deal with. It's crazy."
Even married people are told that sex for pleasure is out, that the only legitimate purpose of sex is to be the tool of "procreating new spirits." In a confidential letter responding to an inquiry from a married couple asking if oral sex was permitted, the late Mormon Prophet Harold B. Lee stated: "I was shocked to have you raise the question about 'oral lovemaking in the genital area among married couples.' Heaven forbid any such degrading activities which would be abhorrent in the sight of the Lord. For any Latter-day Saint... to engage in any kind of perversions of this sacred God-given gift of procreation would be sure to bring down the condemnation of the Lord whom we would offend were we to engage in any such practice."
Once known for their practice of polygamy (multiple marriages), today's Latter-day Saints are ultraconservative, tight-knit, industrious and secretive. The church demands absolute faith in and conformity to all its teachings and doctrines, and it attempts to govern all aspects of its congregation's lives, including their sex lives.
In a letter to his father, Kip wrote: "I think since you're my father who I love very much, I can tell you something about me that I have a problem with. It started when I was around nine or ten years of age. I had my first wet dream and was experiencing new feelings. I really don't know how I got started, but it doesn't matter. I did it for about a year, then out of fright that I would go to Satan if I did things like that, I stopped doing it. Then about a year and a half later I was starting with it again. It was the first week of junior high in the 7th grade. I really don't know what it was that got me doing it again. For about a year I rationalized that it was right; it really wasn't a big problem then. But I did feel guilty. Then through my guilt and what I was learning [from the church] I knew it was wrong for me."
Eliason remembers: "Initially, Kip came to me and said he'd begun to have nocturnal emissions. He asked if I thought it would affect his church priesthood. I told him, 'No way! It's normal, and every man goes through it.'"
Kip desperately wanted to be a good man and prove himself worthy. At first he even tried lying, but he couldn't lie to himself. He wrote: "I had lied about it to everyone, even the bishop and myself. I would go in for [bishop] interviews, and when the 'golden question' was asked, 'Are you morally clean?' I looked in his eyes and lied. My life was downhill all the time. I felt horrible inside, and it showed. I didn't have many friends. I felt too humiliated to see the bishop. I tried a million times to stop on my own. But it was an obsession. A hideous habit that I thought to be totally impossible to quit. I knew Satan had me twisted on his little finger. I thought I would never be able to lose the chains that held me fast."
When Kip finally told his bishop the truth, the bishop scheduled regular counseling sessions to assist the youth to stop masturbating and to monitor his progress. The church would supply the information he needed to overcome his sin, but he alone would have to stop — that is, if he really wanted to.
Unlike churches that require clergymen to have training and even college degrees before providing counseling, Mormon bishops and elders have little or no training in psychology or sexology. The only instruction they receive comes from either
The Bishop's General Handbook or the litany of pamphlets and instructional manuals pumped out by the LDS publishing arm.
One pamphlet written for teenage boys is titled
Steps to Overcoming Masturbation [reprinted on this website—see link below]. It recommends avoiding being alone whenever possible, but "if you have a friend who masturbates, end the friendship immediately — don't fool yourself by thinking you can stop together; it will only lead to even greater perversions."
As a reminder of their particular sin, Mormon masturbators are instructed to carry a pocket calendar with them wherever they go. They are told to paint the days they masturbated black. Masturbators are also told not to read about or talk to anyone about their problem.
In the bathroom, Mormons are advised to always leave the door slightly ajar to avoid being alone, and to never admire themselves in the mirror. "Never stay in the bathroom for longer than five minutes, even to bathe-then GET OUT FAST." The author recommends never touching the "intimate parts" of the body except during normal toileting.
In the bedroom they are instructed to dress for security. The more layers of clothing, the better. If the urge to masturbate becomes unbearable, yell "STOP!" as a way of changing the subject. Another option is to grasp a Book of Mormon and hold it tightly. In severe cases the masturbator is told to tie his hand to the bedframe so that semi-sleep masturbation doesn't occur.
In the pamphlet
Love vs. Lust, Kimball warned masturbators that if they don't stop, they will end up homosexual: "Masturbation is the introduction of the more serious sin of exhibitionism and the gross sin of homosexuality." And in
Tools for Missionaries the church states that medical doctors believe masturbation "dulls the mind and has adverse effect on the memory."
Dr. Vern Bullough of State University College at Buffalo, New York, is the author of many books on homosexuality and masturbation, including
Sexual Variance in Society and History. Bullough, who also heads the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex, takes issue with Mormon claims of medical backing: "Obviously, members of the society would take exception to the attempts of the LDS Church to claim scientific backing for their stand on masturbation; their science is about 80 years out of date, and it was questionable even 80 years ago."
If the church's stand on masturbation is based on turn-of-the-century science, its controversial treatment for homosexuals might be right out of the futureshock novel and cult-film classic
A Clockwork Orange. The so-called
electroshock conditioning starts in the downtown Salt Lake City office of psychologist and active Mormon Robert Card. First, electrodes are strapped to the homosexual's arms or fingers, biofeedback monitors are attached to his head, and a circular electronic sensor is placed around his penis. Next, the patient sits in a darkened room where he views videotapes of heterosexual and homosexual sex acts.
If the patient gets an erection while watching the heterosexual tapes, a biofeedback digital-display monitor registers a positive numerical reading. But if the patient begins to have an erection while viewing the homosexual tapes, the electrodes strapped to his arms or fingers deliver an electrical shock.
Don Atridge, an ex-Mormon homosexual who was also a member of the famed Mormon Tabernacle Choir, underwent five months of shock treatments conducted by Dr. Card, whom he refers to as Dr. Frankenstein. "Every time I left his office, I was hornier than ever. Many times my arms were red and cut up from the shocks — they looked like hamburger."
Another ex-Mormon gay, Les (who wanted only his first name identified), is very angry. "It's horrible having the hell shocked out of you when you get sexually excited. The entire thing was disgusting." Les even considered suicide. "After a while suicide looked like the most honorable thing to do. Many Mormon gays do it. I had it all planned, an automobile accident on a certain curve in the mountains; it was a way my children and family would be spared."
In February 1984 the Australian television version of 60 Minutes aired a segment about the treatments, titled "Saints and Sinners." Utah native and ex-Mormon Gary L. Stone told producer Warren McStoker that be didn't just leave the church after being treated by Dr. Card. He kidnapped his four-year-old daughter from his ex-wife to get her away from the church and then moved to Australia.
"Getting myself and my daughter away from the Mormon Church was the best decision I've made in my entire 32-year life." About Dr. Card's treatment he says, "It's destructive. They are purposely trying to destroy you. If you are a homosexual in the church, you have only three options — you can lie, you can die or you can disappear."
While publicly abhorring any form of pornography, the church uses porn to treat homosexuality. And although it doesn't openly embrace Dr. Card's treatment, many higher-ups endorse the therapy and even refer church members for treatment.
The Mormon instructional pamphlet
Homosexuality outlines and suggests specific therapeutic methods to be used in sex counseling. They include establishing rapport and confidentiality, assessment counseling, fantasy-changing, goal-setting, thought-stopping, chain-breaking and aversion therapy. The church believes that all homosexuals started out as masturbators; so counselors are instructed to identify the masturbator, gain his confidence, assess his needs and then design and implement a plan to help him stop before it leads to "more perverse and repugnant sins."
Although the church encourages the use of these potentially dangerous therapies, it fails to offer implementation guidelines. Bishops have no way of recognizing emotional and psychological problems or even mental illness. Also, they have no way of knowing whether the therapy is helpful or harmful.
Again, Dr. Jack Annon: "It is my professional opinion that the LDS Church has gone a step beyond propounding a certain viewpoint that masturbation is a sin, and has actually instructed its leaders, teachers and bishops to provide counseling and to utilize behavior-'modification skills that can have very dangerous and adverse effects."
After Kip admitted his "sin," he felt relieved. "It has been exactly 11 weeks ago that I was called in by my new bishop to have an interview with him for the On My Honor Award. I knew that the question would be asked, 'Are you worthy?' I prayed for strength to tell the truth before I went for the interview. I felt a little nervous at first, but then I was relaxed. The question was asked and I told him the truth. I felt as clean as I felt at my baptism. I feel 'new' again! I have not masturbated for 11 weeks now. This is after I tried and tried to stop. After I saw the bishop, I knew I would never be immoral ever again. The chains are loose, and I am free.... New doors to truth and happiness have opened up to me."
Unfortunately, Kip's hopes were dashed when he eventually masturbated again. He wrote: "It seems I have tried to stop a billion times, but it's the same old feelings. It affects every part of my life. If I could only get rid of this one sin, I know I could be a better person. I know I will run into a lot more problems in my life, but I think having a good self-image will help a lot through those times. Being rid of this ugly immoral sin will save my life and make it worth living."
By the time Kip was 15, he and his dad discussed the problem regularly. Eliason continued to try to convince Kip that masturbation was a normal and even healthy part of growing up and discovering one's own sexuality. He supplied Kip with books by medical experts refuting the information supplied by the Mormon Church. Even though Kip loved him, Eliason's influence couldn't match the well-oiled anti-masturbation campaign of the Mormons.
In a letter to his father, Kip regurgitated his indoctrination. "Now I know you are going to say it's good, it's natural, and 99.9% of the human population does it. Dad, I have read the statistics; I have read the sex books: I know the authors are professionals with all the 'facts.' But for me, it is wrong! For others it may be right, but not for me."
At school, friends noticed a difference in his behavior. He clammed up and seemed lost in thought. The church was demanding an ever greater commitment from him. If he wasn't in school or doing homework, then he was at the Mormon wardhouse.
Nearly five years had passed since Kip's first wet dream and feelings of sexual awakening. For most, adolescence is a time of personal exploration, discovery and excitement, but for Kip it was a time of torment and self-disgust.
Eliason noticed a change in Kip's personality. "He seemed down in the dumps for no apparent reason. He began spending a lot of time in his room. I found out later he was praying and reading the Scriptures for hours on end." After Kip's death he found an extensive library on sex, human reproduction and scores of pamphlets and books that the church had supplied the boy.
In a letter to an unnamed church elder, Kip pleaded for help: "How can I have the confidence that I won't let myself fall into this temptation ever again? I really want to fulfill my priesthood calling, and I can't if I am not morally clean. I don't even deserve it! I am willing to do anything I have to do to be able to repent and be free of this sin."
By the fall of 1981 the once-active, outgoing and well-liked teenager was withdrawn and profoundly depressed. On December 10, 1981, Kip tried to kill himself by drinking a bottle of iodine mixed with alcohol. He had come to hate himself so completely, he believed that death and damnation were all he deserved.
If there had been any doubt concerning the severity of his emotional conflict or state of mind, Kip's attempted suicide should have silenced it. The Eliason suit alleges that the Mormon Church was aware of the suicide attempt, but continued to counsel him in complete disregard for his deteriorating mental state.
Dr. Annon believes, "It is my firm professional opinion, based upon information that I have at hand, that the LDS Church attempted to teach very stringent and difficult standards to a boy who was vulnerable to emotional conflicts, and that the counseling was inadequate and appears to have contributed to the boy's suicidal ideations."
On January 10, 1982, just a month after his first suicide attempt, Kip was ordained into the Aaronic priesthood. One in a series of Mormon priesthoods, the Aaronic demands greater responsibility, commitment and perfection.
On Valentine's Day, February 14, Kip made another attempt to end his life by again drinking a mixture of iodine and alcohol. He was taken to the psychiatric unit of the St. Alphonsus Regional Medical Center, where he was diagnosed as suicidal. (The medical facility is a codefendant in the Eliason suit.) Eight days later Kip was released to his father.
Eliason recalls picking his son up at the hospital. "He seemed happy to be going home. Before we left, he introduced me to a 16-year-old girl he had met there. She had told him she was there for the same reason he was. Kip seemed very taken by his new friend and, when they said goodbye, he took her into his arms and kissed her. I'll never forget it."
On March 2, 1982, Kip was home alone while his father made an overnight business trip, About 9 p.m. Eliason called him from his hotel. "Kip seemed all right. I asked him if he'd taken his medicine, and he said he had. I told him I'd be home soon, and that was about it."
Sometime after the call, Kip wrote a suicide note. He went to the closed garage, started the family car and went to sleep.
Dead at 16, Kip Eliason had but two "vices," masturbation and telling the truth. He was unable to stop masturbating and too honorable to lie — something tens of thousands of other Mormons must be doing right now.
Every time Eugene Eliason returns to Boise, he visits Kip's grave. Sometimes he drives through their old neighborhood. He feels closest to Kip there. If a Mormon neighbor recognizes him, they pretend not to notice. Now labeled an anti-Mormon, he worries about all those young people who, like Kip, are giving their all to the Mormon Church.
Today Eliason shows his anger less frequently than he did two years ago, even though his precedent-setting clergy-malpractice suit has cost him everything. (After several lengthy delays and setbacks it is slated to go to court this spring [1986].) It's not that his anger has subsided the way it might have had his son been killed in an auto accident, say. That kind of natural dissipation of anger doesn't apply to him. Until he can find justice and reconcile the fact that Kip died not only believing himself a failure at age 16, but also believing that he deserved to die as punishment for his "despicable sin," Eliason's anger and grieving will continue.
[*Journalist Mark A. Taylor, a native of Salt Lake City, has written feature articles for a number of Far West publications.
--
Dragon777
Kent Belliston
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dragon777
![[Powered by iCopyright]](http://license.icopyright.net/user/images/toolbar-header-free.gif)
![[Service]](http://license.icopyright.net/user/images/icon-email.gif){kind=icon}
E-mail ![[Service]](http://license.icopyright.net/user/images/icon-save.gif){kind=icon}
Save ![[Service]](http://license.icopyright.net/user/images/icon-license.gif){kind=icon}
License ![[iCopyright]](http://license.icopyright.net/images/icopy-w.gif)
Copyright © 2007 Freedom Communications / Arizona. Permission granted for up to 10 copies. All rights reserved. 
Reader comments (63)
This site does not necessarily agree with comments posted below. Responsibility lies solely with the comment author.
My comment disappeared! What's going on?
View more comments: 1| 2| 3| 4 | 5| 6| 7
Equality
Thanks for continuing to tell this important story. Mormons are often misunderstood and many misconceptions abound regarding the church to which a major presidential candidate has pledged a death oath of loyalty.From the article:
"'Polygamy is not hidden. ... Polygamy is discussed openly in the church, and it is in all of our history books,'" wrote Jean White of Maricopa. 'Many members can trace their heritage to polygamist homes.' She said during the early years of the church, a time of persecution, 'there were many parentless children and widows who had lost children and mates. We were a hunted people at times.'
This comment from one of the faithful members, in an attempt to discredit Lamborn, actually supports his argument.
It is true that most members of the church think the purpose of polygamy was to take care of widows and orphans that resulted from the "persecutions" against the Saints and the hardships faced on the trek west and during the settling of the Utah Territory. What is generally NOT known (or talked about or EVER mentioned in church-produced materials) is that polygamy had NOTHING to do with taking care of widows and orphans or deal with a surplus of women out west. What Lamborn was never taught, and what most Mormons are to this day unaware of, is that polygamy was started by Joseph Smith (not Brigham Young) and that Smith had at least 34 wives; that he married 11 women who were already married to other men (sometimes faithful Latter-day Saints); that he married a number of teenage girls, some as young as 14. One of his 14-year-old brides he secured by promising her father that if he sacrificed his "lamb" by giving her to the Prophet, the whole family's salvation would be secured. Joseph Smith hid his polygamous relationships from his first wife Emma, and he publicly denied that he was a polygamist right up until his death. These facts are not disputed by church leaders and LDS apologists, and the information is available to those who look for it. But the average Mormon doesn't know about this or a host of other things about Mormon history and doctrine, and there is no place in the church for people like Lamborn to ask questions, to discuss these matters openly without fear of recriminations, as happened to Lamborn.
Thanks to the East Valley tribune for shedding some light on the darker underbelly of Mormonism and showing the side of the faith that the PR machine out of Salt Lake City doesn not want people to see or discuss. Suggest removal of this comment
October 6, 2007
Lyndon Lamborn
In addition to what Equity so aptly pointed out, it was the SECRECY that was part and parcel to Joseph Smiths polygamy that struck me. The other huge red flag was his approach to these women. He told these women that an angel of God appeared to him with a sword and threatened to slay him if he did not propose marriage to these women. The church teaches that in the mouths of two or three witnesses all truth is established, in this case we have at least four.My thanks to Lawn Griffiths for his responsible reporting. Lawn and his editors were reluctant to report the controversial issues surrounding polygamy/polyandry in the early church, which is completely understandable. However, the facts are out there, and they are stubborn things - they just don't go away.
Once again the POLYANDRY, the SECRECY, and ANGEL WITH THE SWORD approach to woo the women are the REAL issues that led me to investigate the whole history. These aspects of polygamy should be presented to the general membership of the church, because they are well established FACTS. Suggest removal of this comment
October 6, 2007
Hellmut
When our leaders behave unreasonably by excommunicating people for exploring history with members of their family then it is little wonder that our religion's reputation suffers.However well intentioned, President Molina's pettiness damaged Mormonism worldwide. He makes us look like a bunch of irrational zealots afraid of reality.
That is unfortunate because there are so many wonderful Mormons. Had President Molina shown only a modicum of respect for Lyndon Lamborn's conscience and liberty much damage could have been avoided.
President Molina may not realize that his behavior will actually have serious consequences for Mormons around the world. It's pretty hard to assert one's freedom of religion when our own Church punishes people for discussing a book with their brothers. The claims of Mormons in Germany, France, Russia, and many other countries to tolerance will now appear to be hypocritical.
For the sake of my friends and family members, some of whom have paid dearly for joining a small American religion, I hope that American Mormon leaders would afford dissenters more respect and tolerance. Suggest removal of this comment
October 6, 2007
Lincoln
Thanks for the follow up article Lawn. It brings out many areas of Mormonism that are not usually discussed in public.Mormonism is very much misunderstood among Mormons ourselves. For example, quoting Jean White in your article, speaking about polygamy she said "When the government said it was outlawed, it was discontinued." This is just not true. Polygamy was outlawed by the government far before 1890, when it was semi-officially discontinued by the Church. But most believing Mormons do not understand that. And therein lies the issue. Many members are simply unaware that the Church has taken measured, calculated steps to hide uncomfortable facts from the view of the general membership. If I could make one point to all people reading these articles, who are from other faiths and belief systems, it would be this: The Mormon Church has suceeded at muddling its official history so much that the majority of good active Mormons have no idea about the foundations of their own religion. Many scholars who are critical of Mormons mistakenly assume that we are all operating from the same set of facts and information. We are not. Some of us, such as Equality, Lyndon Lamborn and others have been so dedicated to Mormonism, that we took it at its word, and studied it with all of our hearts. The principle taught to all of us from our youth, in the Church, was to avoid "anti-mormon" literature at all costs. The teaching was that
Satan influences those who produce such material, and it is just a pack of lies about Joseph Smith and other founding members of the Church. Many of us have taken these leaders at their word and only read information purchased at Deseret Book, the official church bookstore. For years we felt that we knew everything about Mormonism and that all the critics were just duped by Satan. From my interactions with other disaffected members out there, I have discovered that pretty much all of us were in the same boat. Conscientiously following church leadership, keeping our "shoulders to the wheel" (an old pioneer reference referring to work) and pushing forward "building the Kingdom." But when certain issues in Mormonism just didn't make common sense, it made you wonder.
Usually when I wondered about polygamy, or an odd book of Mormon teaching (killing to serve God - i.e. Laban), I would simply push those doubts to the back of my mind. I believe that most Mormons do just that. We are taught that Satan creates doubt, and that we should have faith in the Church and in the leadership.
At a certain point any member realizes that anti-mormon literature really could pose no danger to truth. And since we were taught that the Church has always been truthful and divine, I reasoned that no lies or distortions from history could ever ruin my testimony of the Church. I also knew that many former church leaders have encouraged intellectual development. My patriarchial blessing encourages me to develop my intellect and grow in knowledge. At one point in 2005 while Warren Jeffs was being hunted by the feds, I clearly saw the parallel to Joseph Smith, and I decided to examine my beliefs about polygamy. In my research, I discovered other issues in 19th century Mormonism. I was shocked to learn that critics of my Church claimed that the Book of Abraham was a complete fabrication. I was determined to get to the bottom of the issue, and figure out where they had gone wrong so that in the future I would be able to discuss these issues intelligently with my friends and neighbors and be a good missionary. Mormons are always encouraged to seek missionary experiences, and I was simply preparing myself to be able to answer the questions of those at work, just like Lyndon Lamborn. My co-workers had made light of Joseph Smith, told me the Book of Abraham has issues, and ridiculed the discontinuance of polygamy as abandoning sacred beliefs for the US government. I was determined to get to the bottom of these issues so that I could explain to my co-workers how wrong they were, and help them see the light, and hopefully help them into the Church one day.
What I did not know is that I was operating with only a partial set of the facts. My subset of facts was so small, I learned, that many of their criticisms actually had merit. What a shock that was to my system?! The books I have read about Mormon history paint a far different picture than I was taught growing up. I discovered a concerted effort to hide many facts of Mormon history in my youth. I was raised in Utah, the heartland of Mormonism. I met many of the church's general authorities as I was growing up. I was raised going to church every single Sunday, wearing my white shirt, passing the sacrament, being ordained to all levels of the priesthood, serving a full time mission for two years, marrying in the temple, being an instructor in the Church for most of my married life, but not knowing the history of my own church from an accurate perspective. I know this sounds shocking, but after taking all those years of Seminary and serving a mission, you would assume that I knew about my own church, right? I was given one side only, the Church's version, which eliminates or de-emphasizes many of the facts and historical issues in Mormonism. I did not know this. Most Mormons don't. We can't even begin to comprehend it.
I was not taught about the seerstones Joseph used for years to dig for treasure. I was not taught about him using the seerstone in a hat to translate the Book of Mormon. I was not taught that Joseph Smith practiced polygamy during his lifetime, and that many of his wives were teenagers or other living men's wives. I was not taught about the facsimiles of the Book of Abraham being the breathing permit of Horus, a dead Egyptian, and not an account of Abraham. I was not taught that many parts of the temple ceremony were copied from the freemasonry ceremony that Joseph Smith had just learned.
I could make a list of a hundred things I was not taught as a youth, even though I was a seminary graduate, college graduate, returned missionary, and had served in leadership callings in the Church. I discovered another world of Mormonism than the one I had grown up and cherished. I discovered reality. I discovered that Mormonism is not a perfect little religion as I had been taught all those years. This was a difficult discovery to make. It is not the discovery I wanted to make. It was extremely painful to discover that my parents had unknowingly misled me about some of the basic assumptions I made about existence.
I applaud you Lyndon Lamborn. You are a brave and courageous man to teach the truth you have learned about the Church. Many other leaders have followed your path. In older days, the three witnesses, and nine of the original twelve apostles in Kirtland. Today, Wendell Hall, former Argentine mission president, Jerrell Chesney former Oklahoma temple president, Ken Clark former Institute director, Steve Sims former Portugal mission president, have decided to depart Mormonism after learning of the truth of its origins.
For those of you out there that are highly critical about Mormon beliefs, try to remember, the majority of Mormons do not even have the slightest idea of the issues within our own Church. We are not given the full story, while we were trusting that others were telling us the truth. I hope that people can take it easy on those Mormons who practice the religion without knowing all the sordid details of its history. Many of the good people of the Church would leave if they had an inkling as to the deception they have received. Many have no idea what the actual facts are. Many are just doing the best they can in life. I think all of us are certainly doing that. People like James come here and try their best to obscure the historical facts, but the preponderance of evidence weighs against people like James, and their puny efforts to fight against truth.
To those of you who will criticize this post, and paint me as a heretic or critic I would just say to you. Have you examined the actual history of our Church? I'm not talking about the Deseret Book version, or the Sunday School correlated version. I am talking about the books of actual historians such as Bushman, Compton, Quinn, Roberts, Arrington, and others who were members of the Church and actually openly discuss actual church history. Have you read any of the Journal of Discourses (Conference talks for 30 years in Utah) or the History of the Church by Roberts? Before dismissing Lamborn, many would be well served to study things out themselves. Then they wouldn't be so quick to judge him. The Lord has promised "treasures of knowledge and wisdom" to those who seek. True scholarship does not occur without a free open exchange of ideas. Current Mormonism encourages conformity and obedience to men, instead of obedience to God.
Thanks for this forum to express my ideas. As an active member of the church I see the good and bad within my religion. I am very disgusted and embarrassed by many of the things I have learned about my Church. I am embarrassed by the withwashed history. I am embarrassed by the deceptions and inaccuracies. But I do feel it is an organization that has many good people who try to follow Christian principles. Many disillusioned members such as myself simply try to follow the New Testament teachings of Jesus, without proclaiming the one trueness of Mormonism. With the internet, many more members will go through what Lyndon Lamborn has gone through, hopefully with more understanding leaders than he had.
I need to get back to listening to conference now. Oh, Boyd K. Packer just said that the ordinary members of the Church are what is meant by the weak things of the world. Ouch. Oh, and Mary N. Cook just told us that if the parents examples are bad, then it is the children's responsibility to break the cycle. Sheesh. Ouch. Nothing like family unity.
Time to go explain the truth to my children.
Suggest removal of this comment
October 6, 2007
SkepticToo
For more accurate information, go to MormonThink.com Suggest removal of this commentOctober 6, 2007
Tu Tio Verde
And what are life-long members who have discovered troubling inconsistencies to do? As a fifth-generation Arizona Mormon I was discouraged from reading about the church from outside sources. Now that looked into those forbidden non-faith-promoting histories where can I go?For the last few years I have lived with my doubts and kept them to myself. My wife shared some questions with her bishop and he actually said that there is nowhere for us to go with our questions. Even writing to the general leadership with questions is discouraged.
Now with this story about Lyndon Lamborn it's clear that we can't even talk amongst ourselves without risking a church court.
This feels like I'm living under a gag order. The church that I was taught was the source of all truth is the one organization that forbids me to discuss the truths I've found.
The result is that I am feeling increased pressure to leave. I can't stand the feeling of unrighteous gag order on my thoughts and speech and am not willing to risk the implied slander and gossip that comes with a secret church court and public excommunication.
I don't think I'm the only who feels this pressure more strongly than even thanks to Pres. Molina's actions and I doubt I'll be the only one that leaves the church because of it. Suggest removal of this comment
October 6, 2007
GG
I can't tell you how much I appreciate this article in the Tribune. Thanks to Lawn for having the courage to write the article about Lyndon Lamborn. Lyndon is not alone in his feelings toward the LDS church.I am a "non-believing" Mormon that attends every week. I faithfully complete church callings. I have served as RS President along with many other leadership positions. I just can't believe that this is the only true church anymore. But because of family ties, I keep my feelings and beliefs to myself. It is just not possible to ask questions about some of the more controversial subjects about mormon history in Sunday School. Believe me, this is not an easy lifestyle and somethng that I wouldn't wish on anyone. There is a large community of us out there that the general mormon population is not aware of.
I am just like Lyndon in that I found out things about the church that I was born into just a few years ago. It is a misconception that we life long mormons should know about church history and all of the warts. I have had women in the church come up to me and ask if I knew that Joseph Smith had more than one wife. What is odd is that when they talk about it, they whisper. Why should we have to feel like that?
My thanks to Lyndon for speaking out for people like me Suggest removal of this comment
October 6, 2007
dan boyle
in earlier times, the catholic church tried to silence galileo when he found out the earth was not the center of the universe, as the church taught. He was placed under house arrest for heresy. mmmmmmm, don't the church's actions look silly now? I guess galileo was right all along.The mormon church is making the same kind of error today, trying to ruin a good man's name (lyndon's) in order to protect itself from the truth. Since the church's claims do not stand up to scrutiny, the church's only defense is to attack the messenger. This tactic failed the catholic church centuries ago, and will fail the mormon church today. I wonder if the mormon church will learn from history or be doomed to repeat it...
So far, they seemed determined to repeat the same failed strategy. Congratulations to Lyndon, history looks favorably on those who stand up for truth. And it laughs at those institutions whose primary goal is self-preservation at all costs. What "danger" did Lyndon pose to the church? Only the truth, that's all. Suggest removal of this comment
October 6, 2007
Hellmut
Tio, you are not alone. There are thousands of Mormons who feel like you. Since we did not feel free to speak, there was the illusion that we were on our own but we are not.Once people start to speak their mind, you will find that with respect to some of your problems most Mormons agree with you. We saw that when the LDS leadership finally dropped the priesthood ban in the late 1970s. Suddenly most Mormons admitted that they were relieved that they no longer needed to support a racist policy. Before that many of us felt very lonely.
Anyways, today you can find like minded Mormons on the Internet even if you cannot discuss these important matters in your local congregation.
You might enjoy the Mormon Stories podcast, which attempts to bridge gaps between Mormons at different levels of believe.
If you click my name, you will get to a blog, which attempts to list as many Mormon websites as we can identify.
The first half of the blog roll contains more orthodox, the second half post-Mormon blogs.
You might also enjoy the New Order Mormon message board, which is very sensitive to people such as yourself. Another good community that will allow you to speak openly about your Mormon experience is the post-Mormon message board. Personally, I like Further Light and Knowledge and Main Street Plaza, although they are a little more strident and rigorous.
There are so many different places for Mormons to come together these days, no one needs to remain lonely or silent any longer. I wish you lots of luck, Tio, and hope to see you on one of the fora soon! Suggest removal of this comment
October 6, 2007
Mayan Elephant
thanks Lawn.that was very thoughtful and brave of you to submit this column.
please accept a small criticism in your opening paragraph where you state - "But detractors pore through the church's considerable writings and cannot reconcile their findings with "accepted" or orthodox Christian tenets and practices."
while there are some detractors that pore through the writings you reference, the issue as it relates to lamborn and others like him is where good, faithful and lifelong members of the church pore through the writings.
lamborn was not a detractor when he began his search, and i dont suspect GG began her search as a detractor.
in my case, the age of my children was a major motivator for me to find more answers about the church. the reasons people look into the history are very diverse.
also, it is true that detractors and active mormons look into the church's writings. research shows very quickly that those writings are often deceiving in their omissions and simplicity. most often, the gory details, including those that have been discussed here at the east valley tribune, are those found in the works of individual authors that are not sanctioned by the church. an example is rough stone rolling by richard bushman. while he is a mormon, his book is an independent publication and includes details that are not typically available in church writings and publications.
thanks again lawn. i think you are doing a great service to present a personal image of what it means to be mormon, whether one participates fully or not. also, you will help many families and individuals by dispelling the "anti-mormon" label that is used by so many mormons to describe non-correlated details of the history of their church, even if the details are true. Suggest removal of this comment